


five times the team failed to explain themselves

by winchilsea



Category: Young Justice
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-17 20:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchilsea/pseuds/winchilsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Also titled "Five times Red Tornado caught the team in the middle of doing questionable things"</p>
            </blockquote>





	five times the team failed to explain themselves

**Author's Note:**

> for young justice ficathon prompt: [_red tornado, five times he inadvertently walked in on scandalous or embarrassing goings-on at the cave_](http://kidiots.livejournal.com/23198.html?thread=306590#t306590)

**1\. Miss Martian and Superboy**  
It was not that the cave seemed too quiet that Red Tornado checked the security cameras. Checking them was merely part of a routine sweep. Security of the team and the cave, after all, were of great importance and he had responsibilities as their den mother.

Nothing looked out of the ordinary. The kitchen and training areas were empty with most of the team away in their respective cities. The only ones left in the cave were Superboy, Miss Martian, and himself.

He suspected they were in their rooms, but looking at footage from the hallways, he saw that he was wrong. Currently, they were engaged in the human intimacy ritual called "kissing," an act often done in public to express affection. Nevertheless, he thought that the two would be embarrassed to be seen at the moment, especially when Miss Martian's bio-suit began fading away, so he pressed the button for the intercom.

"Perhaps you would like to relocate to one of your rooms."

Onscreen, they both jumped, colored, and fled in opposite directions. It appeared he had caused them embarrassment in the pursuit of preventing embarrassment. Human interactions still befuddled him, but he decided to keep this scenario in mind for future reference.

 **2\. Kid Flash and Robin**  
Red Tornado headed to the lounge to check a security camera that had begun to loop footage. It was cleverly done and almost went by undetected, which meant there was likely a security breech in the cave. Investigation was necessary.

As he approached the lounge, he heard Kid Flash and Robin in the middle of a hushed conversation. Drawing the logical conclusion from prior examples, he determined that the duo was in the middle of pulling yet another prank on the team and wished to escape notice. While satisfied that security had not, in fact, been breached from the outside, a warning was still required. Tampering with the cave's security, for whatever reason, should not be done on a whim. If he were to let it slide, the probability of it becoming a habit was great.

"Dude, just— _hurry_ , okay?" That was Kid Flash. He sounded very strained.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and let me focus," returned Robin.

"Sorry for not wanting to be— _where are you touching?!_ "

Red Tornado picked up the speed as Kid Flash's voice grew louder and Robin's responded in kind.

"Touching is kind of necessary for this." According to previous voice patterns, Robin expressed annoyance.

"Not right there it isn't!"

As he rounded the corner, Red Tornado asked, "Is something the matter?"

It would have been best if he had waited and not made his presence known since Robin was kneeling in front of Kid Flash and had both of his hands in the area of the latter's genitalia. According to his information, such an act was not proper for public display.

"I was not aware that you two had become a couple. Congratulations. However, please refrain from performing lewd acts in public areas and sabotaging the cave's security systems," he said before turning to leave.

Behind him, the two young superheroes splutter.

"This isn't what it looks like!"

"My zipper got melted during our battle with—we're not a couple! RT! Are you listening?! We're _not_ a couple!"

**3\. Artemis and Aqualad**

"I was just teaching him how to flirt!" Artemis shouted after his retreating form.

Red Tornado did not question why Aqualad wearing a wig was necessary.

**4\. Zatanna and Rocket**

"Red Tornado, I promise that this is actually very normal behavior for girls," said Zatanna.

"Interesting. According to my data, the opposite seems more likely."

She laughed. "We're just having some girl time. Does your data extend to chick flicks?"

He shuffled through his memory banks. "It does not."

Patting the cushion next to her, she said, "Sit down. We'll explain it to you."

"Yeah," said Rocket, "the more information the better, right?"

"Indeed," he said, sitting down between Zatanna and Rocket, "I feel it is prudent to learn more about these 'chick flicks.'" If nothing else, it would give him insight as to why he walked in on Rocket groping Zatanna's breasts.

"Don't worry, me and Zee will tell you how it is."

Three and a half hours later, Red Tornado went back to his apartment after having watched _Legally Blond_ , attempted painting the two female superheroes' nails, and tried his hand at "girl talk." None of it really explained _why_ he walked in on the scene he did, but the young women assured him that appreciating each other's good qualities were an ordinary occurrence for females and males.

Somehow, he did not believe the Batman would appreciate a compliment on his stamina or getting his hair done. 

**5\. Blue Beetle and Impulse**

It was not often that the team required him to watch the cave in recent years, not since the original team grew old enough became more than capable of handling the team themselves. However, Nightwing had asked for a favor in keeping an eye on the younger team members now that there was an "Impulse" joining them unexpectedly, so Red Tornado found himself once again using his personal entrance to the cave.

From there, he descended through the hatch into the mission room where he greeted with one naked young man wrapped around Blue Beetle.

If he had eyebrows, this was where he would raise them. The younger members were certainly more brazen than their predecessors.

"Red Tornado! This is _so_ crash. I'm Bart Impulse Allen, whoops, secret ID. Hey, no worries, you know who the Flash is anyway, don't you? Since you're a Justice Leaguer and all. Pleased to meet you."

Per social norm, Red Tornado shook the hand that was offered, although Blue Beetle appeared to be vehemently attempting to shake the Impulse off.

"You mind getting off me, ese?"

"I don’t mind getting you _off_ ," said the Impulse, waggling his eyebrows.

Blue Beetle's sonic cannon activated. "You can't just give people false assumptions like that!"

"I assure you," Red Tornado cut in, "that the only assumptions I have drawn are logical and based on given evidence. Perhaps you would like to return to the showers and finish what you were doing. Please hurry. Mission briefing begins soon."


End file.
